Don’t worry. This story contains no spoilers, no flesh-eating details that will make your goosebumped stroll through Eli Roth’s Goretorium any less terrifying. Go forth and freak out. Or as the security guy said as I started my ascent into the haunted house Thursday night: “Have fun. You’re f*cked.”
The Strip-side horror attraction created by actor/director (Inglourious Basterds/Hostel) Roth celebrated its grand opening Thursday with celebrity appearances, creepy cocktails and lots and lots of fake blood. And while my nervous tour through the Goretorium was complete with clenched hand-holding and at least one jumpy “boo!” moment, one of my favorite elements was actually just outside the carefully crafted set: the bathroom.
So go pee at the Goretorium. (Preferably in the restroom and not in your pants.) And then make sure to wash your hands. Not only because it’s sanitary and your mother told you to, but also because when you place your hands in front of the sink sensors, rivers of blood come pouring down the mirror in front of you effectively putting you into some creepy horror movie scene. It’s so cool I washed my hands twice. Sorry, SNWA.