How will Sin City know the end is near?

• Radiohead deigns to play the Strip; Thom Yorke shouts, “Helloooo, Lost Wages, are you ready to ROCK?!”

• Your neighbor actually talks to you.

• “Hi, my name is Oscar, and I’m ...”

• The NFL finally lets Las Vegas leave a voice-mail.

• “Hon, the guidebook doesn’t say anything about the Bellagio fountains generating a huge, building-toppling wave.”

• A beloved sports icon and community hero admits to a sordid drug ... aw, crap!