You might imagine a movie about legalized prostitution would at least hold your attention. But there’s a reason director Taylor Hackford (Ray) has the word “hack” in his surname. At least he cast his wife, Helen Mirren, who doesn’t embarrass herself as the good-hearted but strong-willed brothel madam (based on an actual ex-madam at Northern Nevada’s Mustang Ranch)—but that’s more than can be said for Joe Pesci, mugging and preening as her husband. And the less said about the anonymous hunk of beefcake (Peris-Mencheta) who comes between them, the better. Love Ranch traffics in soggy clichés, and every human interaction has been amplified to the point of cartoonishness. It makes even hookers seem dull.