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‘Gods of Egypt’ turns mythology into blockbuster nonsense

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Gerard Butler in Gods of Egypt.

One and a half stars

Gods of Egypt Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites, Gerard Butler. Directed by Alex Proyas. Rated PG-13. Opens Friday citywide.

The gods in Gods of Egypt might as well be superheroes or cyborgs for all their connection to actual mythology, and the movie itself is a cacophony of garish special effects and loud, blustery action. Although it’s come under fire for placing white Europeans in the roles of Egyptians, Gods has so little to do with any real history or culture that its casting issues are among the least of its problems. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gerard Butler play the gods Horus and Set, respectively, who are at odds over who will rule ancient Egypt (in the movie’s conception, the gods dwell among the people and oversee them directly). Mortal thief Bek (Brenton Thwaites) teams up with Horus to help the god retrieve his stolen eye from Set and regain his rightful throne, in return for rescuing Bek’s one true love from the afterlife.

It’s a simple quest story that gets muddled with various side missions and a thoroughly confusing climax, but the narrative is never really the point. Once promising director Alex Proyas (The Crow, Dark City) clutters the screen with shiny, cheap-looking CGI that is meant to evoke a world of wonder, but mostly just looks like a Windows screen saver. The gods tower over humans, but the effects used to make them appear taller instead make it seem like the actors aren’t even in the same frame together. Not that the performances connect with each other in any way—Thwaites is a bland pretty boy, Butler yells and bloviates, and Coster-Waldau has none of the charm he brings to the roguish Jaime Lannister on Game of Thrones.

Battle scenes that should be epic and awe-inspiring are confusing messes of similar-looking bits of CGI attacking each other, and there’s no momentum or weight to the supposedly high-stakes, potentially world-ending story. It’s just another empty spectacle, one that doesn’t have the creativity or resources to make up for its narrative shortcomings. Whether the main characters are gods or aliens or genetically engineered monstrosities, the result is the same headache-inducing clamor.

Tags: Film
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