Powerball, with you in my pocket I have swagger, like tomorrow I could own this street and name it after my hamster. And I could, because if your six numbers match those six magic balls on the draw every Wednesday and Saturday, I can afford bad taste (and my own Wienermobile). It’s 1 in 175 million that my $2 will have, like, 600 million babies—odds that make a snowball’s chance in hell sound good. Yet you inexplicably feel like a safer bet than roulette. So, I’m headed to Primm April 8, when you’ll land at the Valley Lotto Store just across the Cali border. Merry Christmas, fellow suckers.
Wed, Dec 19, 2012 (3:35 p.m.)