Horrifying news

Blockbuster Video is closing its Bonanza and East Centennial Parkway locations. We at Las Vegas Weekly have absolutely no idea what to do now. I mean, how the hell are we supposed to watch our favorite movies?! Imagine them? Ask our friends to reenact them? Buy second-run movie theaters and screen them every night? BREAKING: Okay, a tech-savvy friend just told us about something called Netflix or Hulu or iTunes or torrents or ... Phew, all hope isn’t lost. –Rick Lax

Glass house

Our reviewers are tired of complaining about the Cosmopolitan’s Chelsea Ballroom, and soon, hopefully, they won’t have to anymore. The hip Strip property has announced plans for a more permanent Chelsea that will mix “a visionary aesthetic with a functional design.” A press release also described the room as a “working theater dropped into a Czechoslovakian glass factory.” We have no clue what that actually means, but if it brings better sound and sightlines (and hopefully, a non-rippling floor) to the kind of concert calendar the Cosmo is already famous for, consider us there. –Spencer Patterson

Criss Cross

If you were to name the criminal scourges plaguing Las Vegas, chances are pet-napping wouldn’t rank. And yet, I just spent 90 good seconds watching grainy surveillance video of two thieves breaking into a pair of local pet stores this week and making off (gently) with high-priced pups and exotic birds, including a teacup Yorkshire terrier puppy that belongs to magician Criss Angel. Angel has offered $5,000 for its safe return. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just make it reappear? –Sarah Feldberg