In a Psychology Today article about the “perils” of fame, the celebrity experience is described as isolation and constant pressure. But the ego affirmations and the money are worth it, right? When an online commenter says, “Justin is the talentless Disney princess, not Selena,” I’m sure Mr. Bieber wipes his tears with a gazillion-dollar bill. Plus, he had a lot of good years before things got nasty.

The object of Bieber’s recent affection, a 20-something Las Vegan named Jordan Ozuna, is not so lucky. Because she and the Biebs allegedly got “cozy” (tabloids love that word) last week at a local indoor skydiving facility, she suddenly has a profile on celebrity gossip site Hollywoodlife.com. Dozens of other stories offer “key facts” about Justin’s “new girl,” revelations like “she keeps goldfish” and “she really likes taking selfies.” There’s a reason there are so many quotation marks in that sentence.

Overnight, Ozuna’s fame sprouted like one of those sponge animals squashed inside a tiny capsule until you soak it in water. And the mudslinging was just as immediate. While many online comments are jabs at Bieber’s sexuality, others declare Ozuna a slut, ugly and “poor and dirty” (presumably because there’s laundry in the background of a Twitter pic). Based on Hollywoodlife.com’s profile, we’re supposed to buy that one of her ultimate quotes is about Hot Cheetos. Her “bio” is two sentences, and one of them is about Justin Bieber.

If the perils of insta-fame are rattling her, Ozuna isn’t showing her cards on social media (smart). The only tweet in her feed that seems telling is this one, from last Thursday: “Wooooooooooow.” Then again, it could be about Cheetos.