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As We See It

What’s in an animal name? Everything

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Doberman Pinschers should be called “Van Dammes,” don’t ya think?
Illustration: Corlene Byrd

The Nevada Humane Society had a genius idea—to increase the number of adoptions last week, it dubbed black cats “mini panthers.” Whether the idea worked or not remains to be seen, but it got us wondering: What other animals could use a marketing makeover to increase their chances of adoption?

Pit bulls—“Yard Dragons” Okay, so it doesn’t exactly help the whole “dangerous” perception, but hey, who wouldn’t want a dragon protecting them?

Chihuahuas—“Pocket Protectors” These little guys are already seen as an accessory by many celebs. Why not take advantage?

Doberman Pinschers—“Van Dammes” They’re sleek, muscular and ready to kick some ass. And who doesn’t love Jean-Claude?

Rottweilers—“Sons of Anarchy” Let’s be honest. If these pups were capable of putting on leather jackets and sporting tattoos, they totally would.

Tags: News, Opinion
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Ken Miller is Las Vegas Weekly's associate editor, having previously served as assistant features editor at the Las Vegas Sun ...

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