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Musings from Michigan

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Note: This is not edible, it’s Pur.
Photo: Rick Lax

When I got home, my mom had this new candy called Pür sitting on the kitchen table. Before I popped a piece in my mouth, I asked her about the flavor. Good thing I did: it wasn’t candy; it was makeup.

What’s up with body products disguising themselves as food? Have you been inside a Lush Fresh Handmade Cosmetics store? The soap looks and smells like ice cream. When a Lush sales clerk told me the product wasn’t edible, I initially assumed she was messing with me.

Clever marketing, I suppose. Makes me wonder what other non-edible products I could disguise as food…

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Your newspaper. Now with less words!

The Detroit News is now The Kidz-Only, Extra-Cartoony Detroit Newz.

What I mean is this: The photos and fonts couldn’t be any bigger—they’re taking over the front page as is. I know, I know, this reflects a larger trend in journalism…

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So. Much. Green.

I’ve been in Vegas for so long - away from grass for so long, away from proper trees for so long - that the street on which I grew up now looks like a Final Fantasy enchanted forest to me. My city, a biodome. I’ve really got to spend more time in the Bellagio Botanical Gardens and the Mirage Rainforest.

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Congratulations to my parents, who located and purchased the No. 1 least appealing dog treat in existence: Hill’s Prescription Diet Hypoallergenic Treats.

Fruvous, our Norwich Terrier, tolerates them. But he eats frozen green beans, too, so his snacking standards aren’t exactly what you’d call discerning. Maybe he’d like the Pür makeup, too.

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Somebody needs to brush Fruvous, stat! He looks like a tangled teddy bear. Sure, it’s cute now, but once he hops in a mud pile and then jumps on your lap, you’ll be singing a different tune.

Maybe I should smuggle him back to Vegas with me. Do dogs like 115-degree heat?

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Rick Lax

Rick wrote the books Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas and Lawyer ...

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