11.28.10 · 12:32 PM

My high school reunion: diplomacy after a decade

What was I expecting from my ten-year reunion? A chant? A tear? A fight? An apology? Closure? A paper plate award? I don’t know; I just know that whatever I was expecting didn’t happen. In my defense, everything I know about high school reunions comes from TV shows and movies, where classmates are forever changing sexual preferences, changing sexes, and gaining or loosing 300 pounds. At my reunion, everybody looked the same; nobody changed that much. Or maybe it’s that ... Read more...

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11.24.10 · 5:15 PM

Did George Bush write George Bush’s memoir?

I’m 100 pages into the Bush memoir, and I’m loving it. When I say this to my friends, this response usually follows: “Guess he had a good ghostwriter!” Or something like that. I can’t discount the possibility that somebody helped Bush write the book (or the possibility that somebody wrote the book for Bush). But I sure haven’t seen the evidence. Nor, really, has anybody. It’s all speculation. I can see where my friends are coming from. After all, Bush ... Read more...

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11.17.10 · 1:49 PM

The one person who can turn this country around (isn’t her)

Sarah Palin’s got a new book coming out, and so does Newt Gingrich, and so does Bobby Jindal, and so do I. Am I planning to run for president under the Republican ticket in 2012 or what? Let me be clear about this: As of now, I have no definite plans to run for president. I’m happy writing for Las Vegas Weekly. It’s a fulltime job, and serving my reader/constituents fulfills me completely. Plus, I plan to spend 2011 promoting ... Read more...

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11.13.10 · 6:24 PM

H&M now giving away books with underpants, sorta…

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, the following Photo Roundup blog post is worth 2,122 words. Here we go! Let’s start with the big photo. Last month, I bought a couple pairs of underwear from H&M. The one with the Superman logo on the front came with a free book! Unfortunately, the book was sewn into the underwear. Five effing pages—very itchy ones. Next photo: Usually I drink regular coffee. But I was feeling ambitious this week, so I ... Read more...

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11.9.10 · 1:32 PM

Books on iPads & Buddhist monks on Ritalin

My new book, Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas comes out in January. That means you have two months to make a potentially life-changing decision: Should you buy a hard copy of book or should you buy an electronic copy of the book? On one hand, the electronic copy is cheaper and kills fewer trees. On the other hand, trees are assholes. They’d have no hesitation about chopping you up and reading ... Read more...

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11.8.10 · 2:10 PM

Calling all formerly unpopular girls

You don’t want to date me. I’ll break your heart. Or maybe you’ll break mine. One way or another, this will end in heartbreak. Or maybe it won’t. Maybe this time it’ll be different—I mean that. The truth is, I only started off with, “You don’t want to date me,” to make you want me more. Reverse psychology. As you can see, I do play games. Because they work. Consistently. Don’t try and tell me otherwise, because I’ve experimented. Don’t ... Read more...

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11.6.10 · 4:04 PM

Interracial hand touching

Walgreens is serious about interracial hand touching. I know this because I found both of these signs stapled to the corkboard by the bathrooms. And as for the Walgreens “SAY ‘HI’ TO ANY CUSTOMER WITHIN FIVE FEET” policy: It seems a bit inflexible, no? I mean, let’s say you stock shelves at Walgreens. And let’s say a customer enters your five-foot perimeter. And let’s say you and the customer are facing in opposite directions. In that case, a “HI” would ... Read more...

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11.5.10 · 2:56 PM

Turning down Oprah

My new book drops in two months. It’s called Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas. Essentially, it’s A Tale of Two Cities, but with fewer cities and more photos. Now, a lot of local literati have criticized my decision to not appear on Oprah to promote my book. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why I won’t go on the show, and I’d like to take this opportunity to set ... Read more...

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11.2.10 · 2:06 PM

From Nut A to Nut B

Ted L. Nancy wrote the book All New Letters From a Nut. It’s a collection of silly, awkward, real letters, sent out by the author. Also the responses, also a foreword from Jerry Seinfeld. I wrote a letter to Mr. Nancy a while back, and it’s looking like I’m not going to get a reply. Too bad; I so wanted to strike up a correspondence with the guy… Anyway, this was my letter: Dear Ted: HI TED NANCY!!! Just kidding. ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week Jun 12, 2013
by Sabrina Chapman

The Lion’s Tail cocktail at Embers is a spicy classic reimagined for summer

Refreshing, peppery and adventurous; those are the words that instantly come to mind upon first sip of the Lion’s Tail ($9) at Embers Grille & Spirits. This vintage cocktail, which ...
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