Friday night saw Paris Hilton strutting down the runway a total of four times outside by the Hard Rock pool in support of her new line of Jackie O-inspired sunglasses, thus reaffirming that Ms. Hilton has impeccable taste in accessories and further proving that yes, Paris can count. To four, anyway.
We, thankfully, can count higher. Here are 10 things we learned during Ms. Hilton’s trips down the runway.
1. No matter how late you arrive at a Paris Hilton party, Paris will arrive later.
2. Regardless of what Weekly contributor Jack Colton advises, Paris will always wear sunglasses at night.
3. If it seemed like the audience was entirely comprised of the other models’ friends, that’s because it was: straight men and the gay men who love them, cougars and the rich men who tolerate them, hot mess socialites and hairdressers.
4. Paris Hilton’s idolizers are impervious to her album, which one critic described as “phoned in from the back of her limo.” To her detractors, it’s pure Kryptonite.
5. The DJ is hot.
6. I am pleased to report that hard nipples are in this season. Healthy body image: out.
7. In: High-stepping down the runway to your own CD. Out: Doing so on beat. In: See-through clothing. Look into it.
8. Paris Hilton gives good value. This thing went on for nearly an hour…
9. Hey, the DJ is really hot!
10. Wait, what sunglasses???