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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.

02.28.09 · 11:29 AM

NASCAR weekend brings “trash with cash”

NASCAR is in town this weekend. I’m not a fan of NASCAR and I don’t understand the appeal of NASCAR. Being a NASCAR fan involves having a fascination with watching people drive cars. I see that every day on the freeway, so I don’t feel it is necessary to fly to another state and sit in a crowded stadium to witness such an event. To each his own, I suppose. They’re even flying in from other countries to see the ... Read more...

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02.25.09 · 9:58 AM

A shifting emphasis from mind to body

“My clients call me Hitler,” my personal trainer told me at our first meeting. That might not be an exaggerated comparison. She put me on a diet of something like egg whites and sand. I can’t even deep-fry the sand. I weigh or measure every single thing I eat. Every grain of unsalted sand is accounted for. I’m starving. Earlier this week I was curled up on my mom’s couch in tears from muscle soreness. When my muscles refuse to ... Read more...

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02.21.09 · 8:58 AM

Of second-hand thongs and the “double-wedgie law”

Scents drive people absolutely nuts. Especially during a woman’s most fertile time of the month, the scent of a woman will cause an educated and logical man to lose his mind. Just this week, I sold two pairs of used thongs for $100 each. “These are my favorite pair of panties. I’m going to need new ones,” I told a buyer who gave me another $20 for replacements. The following night, the panties I sold were from the 99-cent store. ... Read more...

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02.16.09 · 12:45 PM

A tavern buss sparks a promising Valentine’s Day for Munchkin and Puppy

It was the early hours of Valentine’s Day morning and I had skipped work. On the south end of the Strip, near an old Budget Suites, I was sitting at a dive bar with the guy I’ve been seeing. A loud, slurring woman sat several seats down from us. She was very sociable. “Are you old enough to be in here?” she asked, loud enough for all five people in the bar to hear. Perhaps the light from the neon ... Read more...

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02.11.09 · 10:02 AM

As Valentine’s Day nears, I wonder, am I single?

Single on Valentine’s Day? You can always go to a strip club and rent some company. Last year, one guy spent a whole shift with me. People get really emotional on these made-up holidays. I’m not sure if I am an exception. I don’t know if I will even be at work that day this year. My relationship status is not exactly clear to me. Maybe I’m two parts single and three parts taken. There is mounting evidence that I ... Read more...

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02.10.09 · 12:28 PM

Construction crews helped rebuild the sanity

Last week Las Vegas played host to the concrete convention. Simultaneously there was a roofing convention in town. People in construction, for whatever reason, happen to be the best strip club customers ever. From construction workers with rough, calloused hands to the men who own construction companies and wear Italian suits, people in construction are always welcome to visit me at work. I worked long shifts and made obscene amounts of money. It is strange, and maybe a little wrong, ... Read more...

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02.5.09 · 1:30 PM

A change in clubs means the panties stay on, thankfully

I changed strip clubs again. A rolling stone gathers no moss, they say. Who would want moss? I want money. Anyway, I am at one of the many topless joints again and my panties are staying on. Certain times of the month are challenging for the all-nude stripper. Who wants a tiny white rope dangling from their slit while dancing onstage? I am positive that there are customers who would love to see that sort of thing, but I won’t ... Read more...

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02.1.09 · 9:32 AM

A slice of wisdom on undercover law enforcement from Captain Cake

What I do at my job is illegal. At nearly any random moment at work, with a smidgeon of bad luck, a police officer can come in and give me a citation for doing my job. Imagine how unsettling that must feel. A few times per year, vice will go to strip clubs, buy lap dances and then cite strippers for lap dancing. Lap dances are illegal. Lap dances are, however, the activity that produces the bulk of a stripper’s ... Read more...

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Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week May 15, 2013
by Sabrina Chapman

The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS

This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
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