The first week of NFR has come and gone, and it's hard not to be completely discouraged.
At the end of my last shift me and three other strippers went home in the same car. Two of us hadn't earned back the money we spent to work, and the other two had barely earned anything over. One decided to give up and leave town and the rest of us are going to get back on the proverbial horse. It's kind of a buzzkill when strippers are crying, but whatever. I'll be strong.
I barely saw any cowboys. The bar staff was encouraged to dress in Western wear so I might have even seen fewer cowboy customers than I thought. Also, business was so slow otherwise that one of my club's sections that is always open was closed. If the cowboys had been there, we could hate them for our low earnings, but they weren't, so we'll just hate life. Well, I won't. I'm optimistic. But it's easier to blame problems on situations and outside sources. I find self-hating thoughts creeping up in my head and I am taking an active effort to squash them.
Just weeks ago I had four figure customers and even that is no measure of my self worth. It's hard not to feel awesome when you're sitting around making thousands per hour for being your bizarre self, but it is ultimately meaningless. I weigh the same, look the same and dance the same way when I fail and when I'm successful. The only difference is my state of mind. Sure, luck is a factor, but if an opportunity presents itself and you have closed yourself off from it then you never get a chance to reap the rewards.
My cowboy quest has failed so far and I'm hurting for a good night at work but, as author Napoleon Hill wrote, "Most great people have attained their greatest success just one step beyond their greatest failure."
It'll happen. I'll wade through the crowd of sad strippers and persevere. Those who have closed the door on an incredible possibility are never going to reach it. And what an easy door to close when you live in past failures.
Hill also wrote "The ladder of success is never crowded at the top." I could use the leg room so I need to get there fast.
On that note, I need to figure out what to wear tonight. I've been wearing a lot of pink lately. My tits look great in this pink halter top I've been wearing. It really captures their squishiness. I'm on the fence about wearing a cowboy hat. People gravitate towards like-minded people. Do cowboys like seeing cowboy hats on their strippers? Or are they annoyed by them? I mean does it even matter? Isn't your outfit a way of feeling more confident and hence, being more open to success? I only have one cowboy hat. An ill-fitting white straw Stetson that Blackbird stole for me from a cowboy at Stoney's when we were out celebrating my break up. It has sentimental value if you look at it that way.
Well, wish me luck! Or rather, wish me the strength to seize an opportunity that presents itself?