Drunken Pedalphile pirates on bikes, scurvy not required

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Ernest Hemmings, the captain of the pub-crawling bike-riding pirates the Pedal Philes.
Photo: Jennifer Grafiada

A group of drunken pirates are gathered with their bicycles outside the Howard Johnson Hotel in Downtown at midnight on Saturday.

They are the Pedalphiles, a club of young Las Vegans who share a love for biking, dirty dive bars, downtown Las Vegas, dressing up in goofy outfits and drinking.

The first Saturday of every month (the day after First Friday) they meet up at 6:30 p.m. with their bikes behind the Arts Factory, decked out and ready to pub crawl.

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Ernest Hemmings, an aptly named playwright at Test Market Theatre, is their fearless leader. He calls one and all to “subvert the dominant paradigm” by eschewing cars for bikes, and also, by dressing up as a sauced swashbuckler and exploring the high seas of downtown.

Every month the bicycle barhopping has a different theme: in December it was dresses and ties for prom and on Valentine’s Day everyone donned pink and red.

I wondered if mixing alcohol and biking is ever a problem, but so far, so good. They limit their alcohol intake to preserve the necessary balance.

On average 25 to 50 people participate, and all level of cyclists are welcome. They usually hit up around four bars a night, but the plans usually end up morphing as they take votes on where to go next. Hemmings calls his merry crew "Democratic anarchists ... we're a drinking club with a biking problem. This is a casual ride through the gritty streets of Las Vegas. The one-legged guy on the unicycle could keep up with us.”

“This is how I meet people,” says Brad Kanner, a recent transplant to Las Vegas who works as a bike mechanic at Las Vegas Cyclery. “I don’t think I know anyone in Vegas who doesn’t ride that I’m not related to.”

One of the first things Kanner did when he arrived in Las Vegas was to look online for local rides. His first week here he participated in Critical Mass, the monthly bike ride on the Strip, and was ticketed by cops who didn’t appreciate the bikers. Now, Critical Mass has to take off somewhere else.

The Pedal Philes swigging rum and looking for trouble.

Kanner enjoys riding with the Pedalphiles because he loves drinking, biking and meeting new people. As for the outfit, “It’s silly, but it definitely adds a bit of flair to the ride.”

The Pedalphile MySpace updates everyone on the next theme: “The First Annual Pedalphile Pirate Parade! Wear your best eye patch, grab a peg leg, and gear up your bike for some swashbuckling action. We'll sail the high seas of Downtown Las Vegas, take over large vessels, and practice off-colored hand gestures. Scurvy is not required. Come by at 6:30 for a little yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum...”

Next month, everyone is planning to dress up as bunnies--for Easter--and take up an entire lane on a Downtown street. Hemmings likes for people to dress up so they attract more visibility for his anti-motorist, pro-cyclist message. Hemmings bikes everywhere he goes and racks up 20 miles a day just from his work commute. He believes that everyone should cut their car usage by half, which would end the United States' dependency on foreign oil.

Midway through the pirates’ jaunt, everyone is in excellent spirits. Smiling and joking in their pirate hats and eye patches, they rest for a bit after a hearty dinner at Cuban restaurant The Florida Café before heading off to The Huntridge. Or not. As he pushes off on his bike for his next adventure Kanner waves goodbye and shouts that he’s heading off to “I have no idea where.”

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