Las Vegas gets up to 8 inches of snow in biggest storm in decades. Just remember—it’s not global warming. It’s ’cause God hates Las Vegas!

Schools close the day after snowstorm. Finally, a day on which our school system is equal to all others.

David Copperfield’s assistant gets arm broken by large industrial fan. This is far worse than the assistant who suffered the acute case of shame from working on Believe.

Einstein Bros. celebrates opening 14th restaurant in Las Vegas. Because no matter how bad the economy gets, bagels make us smile.

Steve Wynn opens Encore this week. True, it’s not an Einstein Bros., but we thought it worth mentioning.

Need for rental assistance spikes. May we suggest a room at a Strip property? We hear prices are pretty reasonable nowadays.

Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox to play exhibition games in March. It’ll be the greatest rivalry to hit Nevada since the Gibbons’ divorce.

Las Vegas new-home permits hit 20-year low. Cheer up. Want a bagel?