I am the first one to admit that I am not the person for whom Schoof was made. But—as the number of people who walked out mid-movie proves—I am confident that the majority of the population fit into this same demographic. Therefore, I’m going to proceed with reviewing this “movie.”
- 0 stars
- Miles Dougal, Marybeth Spychalski, Karen Bo Baren
- Directed by Giuseppe Andrews
- Plays again June 17 at 9 p.m.
Schoof chronicles the lives of residents of a trailer park as a malevolent alien force known as Schoof causes their descent into madness. This insanity manifests itself in various disgusting, depraved and sexually deviant behaviors, most of which are unspeakable and none of which are entertaining.
From the corpse-chopping cowboys to the dildo-swinging mother to the man toting the hanger he used to abort his own baby, every character left me utterly disturbed and physically ill.
If I could have walked out, I would have. If I could have been carried out on a gurney covered with broken glass and hepatitic needles traveling on a pothole-covered road, I would have.
Like I said before, I am not this movie’s target audience. But if you are the target audience for this sickening pile of excrement, may God have mercy on your soul.