Dr Pepper promised everyone in America a free soda if Guns N’ Roses’ long-delayed Chinese Democracy was released in 2008. Unexpectedly, it was, and the company came through with coupons for anyone who signed up online on the album’s release date. I decided to drink my Dr Pepper while giving Democracy another spin.

It’s been a while since I had a Dr Pepper, but the taste is familiar and predictable. Unlike Axl Rose, the folks at Dr Pepper know how to put out a reliable product year after year. I doubt anyone’s holed up at Pepper central spending 15 years endlessly retooling the perfect soft-drink formula. Then my two favorite songs on the album (“Better,” “Street of Dreams”) come up back to back, and I think maybe Rose’s effort did pay off in some small way.

It does not take 71 minutes to drink a bottle of Dr Pepper, and despite going slowly and savoring every sip, I’m finished before the eighth song is over. I listen to the rest of the album anyway. It’s still not as satisfying as a sugary soda