Thanks to President Obama, the nuke-waste repository will soon be mothballed. If only there was a way to somehow repurpose the facility. Heck, even Sen. Harry Reid has said, “We should be able to use it for something ... other than nuclear waste.” A few suggestions: How about a nuclear-themed amusement park? Picture glowing green churros and radiant kids interacting with life-size characters like Half-Life the Slowly Decaying Isotope and Oozy the Sealed Storage Cask.

Or perhaps a brothel? Not only would that shaft offer the ultimate in privacy, it would help revive Nevada’s beleaguered double-entendre industry.

A bat cave for Jim Gibbons?

Or perhaps just this: a burial site for the hopes and dreams of all Nevadans as lawmakers continue dismantling the state.