Resident Evil Locked in a corridor, our doomed hero dodges one laser, then another. Suddenly, the single laser turns into a grid of lasers. With nowhere to hide, he’s sliced into dozens of pieces ... Why didn’t the corridor just launch the grid of lasers from the start? Why give the man hope that he might survive? Because. It’s EVIL. A+

Resident Evil: Apocalypse While walking through a graveyard after narrowly escaping those infected by the T-virus, our scrappy band of heroes is attacked—by old-school, come-up-from-the-ground zombies. No explanation is ever given as to how these undead were infected. Funny? In a B-movie kind of way, but overall logical fallacies aren’t very scary. C-

Resident Evil: Extinction A horde of crows swarms and attacks our survivors while they rest in the middle of the desert. Some forgettable characters, including pop singer Ashanti, are pecked to death inside a school bus. In a franchise that includes mutant Dobermans and creepy holograms of little English girls, this is just weak. D

Outlook for this weekend’s Resident Evil: Afterlife? Not very bright.