You might want to hold on to dat der plastic patio furniture, y’all, because reality television is fixing to get a whole lot worser. Trailer Park Housewives, a reality show by the creators and producers of Gigalos, The Gun Store and Gold Diggers has begun a casting call—and they want Las Vegans.
What makes an ideal trailer park housewife? Some answers are too good to paraphrase. Straight from their press release: “Your husbands or significant others should each have ‘Vegas’ type jobs such as Realtor, bus driver, blackjack dealers, concierge, nightclub industry, zoo keepers, be in the witness protection program, former or current mob family members, been an extra on CSI more than five times, an attorney, poker player, work at a strip club or casino in any facet or spend way too much time there, a tram operator or just your every day pimp who loves watching the show Breaking Bad.”
Uhhh. What? Zookeepers?!
What about the women themselves? What qualities might they have? Again, the press release gives some colorful examples, including “a self-proclaimed queen bee whose home is three feet longer than anyone else’s” who “doles out orders much like a modern day Lord of the Flies.” (Mad props to whoever decided to throw a literary reference into a casting call for people whose husbands might just by “your every day pimp who loves watching the show Breaking Bad.”)
The show promises to be the inverse of Real Housewives. Instead of breaking fake nails in country club hair-pulling spats, the trailer park housewives will highlight the social hierarchy and culture of mobile home parks. The press release puts it this way: “A six-pack of beer, some video poker and a temporary restraining order are quality entertainment in these houses on wheels.”
If you are curious, the production company backing Trailer Park Housewives is Pariah, which, along with previously mentioned trash television, was somehow involved with Gilmore Girls. The executive producer for the proposed show is Marklen Kennedy, whose previous gigs include vice president of customer development for Light Group and director of Tao Beach.
If you consider yourself one of these elite, “sexy, blue-collar housewives,” you can submit your full name, email address, age and address to TrailerParkHousewives@gmail.com, along with a two- to five-minute long video describing yourself, your life situation and what makes you perfect for the show. You can also snail mail it to 9744 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 205; Beverly Hills, CA 90212; ATTN: TPHW. Submissions are due by October 1.