The group is debating the merits of a CostCo warehouse as a post-zombie apocalypse shelter. It has limited entryways (no windows!) and plenty of space inside, perhaps making it the safest building for a metropolitan area survivor, argues one Bay Area resident. A Montanan is wary, “Seems like you’re locking yourself in a giant box to die.” A third man, dressed like a Revolutionary War-era soldier, has an alternative plan: a football stadium. It will have minimal entries, be surrounded by a parking lot (aka: zombie-killing grounds) and the grass on the field could yield produce. Imagine it: Growing carrots at the 20 yard line while your buddy sits in the nosebleed seats with a sniper riffle on watch for zombie attacks.

This is funny stuff, this Combat Con panel on how to survive after things go to hell. Then again, maybe it isn’t.

“What we’re really talking about is survival methods,” explains panelist Max McCarter of Zombie Tools, a company specializing in weapons and accessories of the apocalypse. These strategies could come in handy in any post-disaster situation. But putting it in those terms is a tad morbid. So bring on the hypothetical zombies!

McCarter references the 1890s medical book he keeps on hand, because he figures in a world without modern technology, that’s as much medical capability as we’ll have. The group then moves to water filtration systems and making lenses by hand with sand, before drifting to weapons and the morose realization that you’re more likely to use them against your fellow man than an undead attacker. The world will be ruthless.

One parting piece of advice: “Learn to take a punch.”