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5 things I wrote in my notebook at the Gwar concert

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Would you let this band’s “World Maggot” swallow you whole?
Chris Bitonti

The Details

Gwar
April 9, Hard Rock Cafe

1. The venue’s glass memorabilia case is wrapped in plastic, surely to protect it from collateral blood spatter. Wonder if frontman Oderus Urungus’ banana hammock will merit its own display …

2. Most bands’ roadies set up equipment and tune guitars pre-show; Gwar’s prep by placing fake organs and other body parts onstage.

3. Five minutes in and I can already tell every sentence I write in my notebook will inevitably end with the phrase, "then Gwar decapitated (blank) and spewed blood all over the audience.” Examples: zombie slaves, a “Jagermonsta” released from the castle dungeon and a crude representation of Snooki.

4. The more devoted the fan, the more blood-soaked the shirt.

5. Gwar still concludes its incredibly entertaining concert spectacle by inviting fans onstage to be gruesomely devoured by the “World Maggot,” a giant slug-monster puppet that extends from the stage and swallows its victims … then Gwar decapitated it and spewed blood all over the audience.

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