I’m impossibly uncomfortable in elevator conversations, so I had a couple shots and jumped right in.
Regional Justice Center
Guy holding door: What floor?
Me: Not sure, do you know where you go when you’re trying to get out of a ticket?
GHD: Like a traffic ticket?
Me: Yes. Wait, are there other kinds?
GHD: Oh, definitely. But you want Basement, Room B.
Me: ... Thank you?
Stratosphere, garage elevator
Old guy: Were you holding the door for me?
Me: Yeah you looked like you were pretty close, plus I don’t know where I’m going.
OG: Oh, I was waiting for it to close so I could get another elevator!
Me: Okay, bye!
Stratosphere, interior elevator
Me: Is this how you get to the top of the Stratosphere?
Big friendly guy: No, you need to go back where you were, by the pizza place and then it’ll snake around, like, past a bunch of stores and then you’ll see it. But you need to get off of here.
Me, jumping out of elevator: Glad I didn’t go all the way up to 24. Okay, bye!
Cosmopolitan, guest elevator
Me: What’re you guys up to in Vegas?
Polo shirt guy: We saw Tiësto last night.
Me: Oh, how was it?
PSG: He killed it. But the girl we were with was bored. It was so lame: She was the one who really wanted to see him, and then she f*ckin’ made us leave.
Me: Dang, bummer.
PSG: Such bullsh*t.
Palms Casino, Ghostbar elevator
Me and Ally, simultaneously: How are you enjoying your sta—WAIT, WHAT?
Me: I’m not staying. I just got off on the wrong floor and decided to look around. You?
Ally: I lead a conference this weekend; I go home tomorrow.
Me: What conference and where’s home?
Ally: I’m from Maryland, just outside Baltimore. I lead a conference for young cancer survivors.
Me: Oh, sh*t. How’d you get involved in that?
Ally: It was founded by a cancer survivor, and I lead this conference. Wait, so you’re just hanging out at the hotel?
Me: Okay, bye!
Palms Casino, guest elevator
Me: Do you know where the recording studio is?
Older lady with accent: The what? No ... I don’t, sorry.
Me: That’s fine. Are you from Las Vegas?
OLWA: No, I’m from Louisiana, New Orleans.
Me: Oh cool! Man, that show Tremé, amiright?
OLWA: ...
Me: So why are you here?
OLWA: My husband works around here.
Me: Oh that’s cool, I—
OLWA: Okay, bye!!
Palms Casino, elevator to spa
Me: These elevators are super murdery, right?
French guy: Quoi?
Me: Okay, bye!