Features

[The Love & Sex Issue]

The real meaning behind Valentine’s Day gifts

Image
Gifting your partner a pooch for Valentine’s Day: No Pooper Scooper necessary!

Gas-station fudge Yes, I totally forgot. No, I don’t want you to hate me. But I’m lazy. And cheap. And I like your chocolate castoffs.

Pride & Prejudice DVD I’ve been told this works on all women, all the time, always.

Photo

SpongeBob boxers I’m so hot for you that not even a cartoon sponge winking creepily over your nether-bits can stop me.

Puppy Seeing you smile is such a joy, and I want to see you smile every day. And maybe have an excuse to play with a sweet, sweet puppy when I feel like it but not have to worry about the whole poo situation.

Relationship history on CD Every single fragment of digital communication from the beginning of knowing each other is here, in order. It’s like a spy transcript of love.

Mini piñata I feel like I know every part of you. And like I’ve honored our many years together with every standard symbol. So it’s time for a mini piñata. Let’s destroy it and crush some candy, together.

Share
Top of Story