So you’ve graduated from a winged corkscrew to a waiter’s friend, your sommelier boyfriend having taught you something that’s actually useful at a dinner party. But then you misplace that wine key minutes before the toast. How do you uncork your 2010 Cab?
Find a toolbox: Chances are, there’s a screw in there. Twist one halfway into the center of the cork, which you can now wiggle out via the screw with the end of a hammer or a pair of pliers. Alternatively, you can lightly hammer three or four small nails into the cork, all in a line. Then, slide the groove at the end of the hammer under the nail heads and carefully pull.
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Take off your shoe: If you’ve got one that’s well-padded inside, stick the butt of the bottle inside of it, where your heel sits. Now strike the sole against a wall (or any hard surface). The cork will eventually come out. If a shoe sounds gross or odd, wrap a towel around the bottom half of the bottle and bang away—but be careful so you don’t break the glass.
Unsheath a knife: Carefully push a serrated blade through the cork. Then twist the blade and the cork out.
Grab your car keys: Push a key two-thirds of the way into the cork diagonally. Wriggle it and the cork toward you until it’s out.
Fire up the blowtorch: For reals. Torch the neck, just below the cork. The air will expand from the heat, and the subsequent pressure will nudge out (or outright pop) the cork. Use caution for this maneuver as well, as an overzealous flaming can break the neck.