SORE THUMBS: Hulk Like to Smash

New game for the green guy finally gets it right

Matthew Scott Hunter

At last, a game that knows what the Hulk is all about: wanton collateral damage. Not since Burnout 3 have gamers been given so many incentives to break things, and so many ways to do it. You can flatten a bus and use it to skateboard around town or hurl missiles like javelins at oncoming helicopters. There are literally dozens of progressively ridiculous ways to vent your rage, each more glorious than the last. Arbitrarily wreaking havoc is the best part of the game.


Unlike the last Hulk game, which tied into the Ang Lee film, this title doesn't bother with lame Bruce Banner missions. It knows we prefer Bruce green and agitated. The open-ended environments have Grand Theft Auto-like mission checkpoints, but the actual story is disappointingly short, with scattered bursts of tedium. But that's OK, because it makes Hulk angry, and I think you'll like Hulk when he's angry.



187 RIDE OR DIE (M) (2.5 stars)


Ubisoft

PlayStation 2, Xbox


Imagine what Mario Kart would be like with a goofy gangsta makeover, and you'll have the vehicular combat game, 187 Ride or Die. Instead of cart-racers shaped like turtle shells, you get generic, pimped-out cars with names like Fo Shizzle. Instead of hurling bananas at opponents, you fire a shotgun. Unfortunately, instead of a series of fun races, you get repetitive tracks with horrendous cut-scenes in between. Oh, what I'd give for the Mushroom Kingdom's Rainbow Road.



BEAT DOWN: FISTS OF VENGEANCE (M) (2 stars)


Capcom

PlayStation 2, Xbox


This game takes a cool concept and pummels it until it dies. It's half beat-'em-up and half RPG, so after each victorious match, you level up and are presented with the option to recruit your vanquished opponent into the ranks of your cheesy ... er, badass gang. But what ensues is an unending string of dull fights in which you beat and rob every random pedestrian with those vengeful fists.



PAC N' ROLL (E) (3.5 stars)


Namco

Nintendo DS


It's like playing billiards, only Pac-Man is the cue ball. This adventure gives you an isometric view of the big, yellow gobbler as you push him around 3D environments with the stylus. Though odd at first, the controls wind up feeling like those of Super Monkey Ball, except you collect pellets instead of bananas. Then you eat power pellets, and then the ghosts turn blue, and then ... well, you know the drill.



Matthew Scott Hunter has been known to mumble, "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start" in his sleep. E-mail him at
[email protected].

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