Awww, what a cute fetus!

In the second trimester or beyond, Mama lies down on an orthopedic bed and baby does all the work, improvising a play for an audience of up to 10 as images of him or her squirming around the womb are projected onto a large screen. Watch as he kicks in a display of brawn! Raise an eyebrow as she suggestively sucks her thumb!

The downside to this procedure is that shy ones won't look up to face the camera; the outright antisocial turn and face the spine. Since the Supreme Court just ruled against partial birth abortions, you can't terminate these duds. And once you know you won't have a beauty pageant contestant on your hands, you have no choice but to whip out the books and start reading to your bump.