"I'm in this bitch with terror, got a handful of stacks/Better grab your umbrella/I make it rain. I make it rain on them hos."
So now we can officially add "making it rain" or "doin' the rain dance" to the list of inane behaviors practiced by a select group of rappers and athletes with apparently more money than common sense. (For similar monetary frivolity, see also: diamond mouth grills, 24-carat gold toilets, butterfly doors on cars other than Lamborghinis and shoe collections that'd make Imelda Marcos envious.)
For the uninitiated, making it rain involves rich rappers and athletes going to a strip club or a nightclub—generally the former—and, from a balcony, stage or VIP section, tossing greenbacks in the air for the sole purpose of watching it fall on butt-shaking, titty-bouncing strippers and/or partying clubbers.
As the money floats through the air and down on the ham-and-eggers below, a scurry generally ensues—presumably the fun part for the rich boys and their crews is watching the commoners take after the loot like rats after cheese. If our rich Pavlovian puppet-masters are especially fortunate, the clouds of cash will spark tension, possibly causing a catfight or three. And let's keep it real—who doesn't enjoy a good catfight?
Do yourself a favor: Don't rack your brain asking why this makes sense. It doesn't. When's the last time you saw Warren Buffett inside Tryst spiraling wads at revelers or Kirk Kerkorian making it rain money at Studio 54? Exactly.
Hot on God's heels in the who's-got-the-most-money-in-the-universe race, Buffett and Kerkorian are exactly the type of people who could "make it rain" and no one would bat an eye.
Paris Hilton, whose familial wealth ensures she'll never have to bust suds at Fabulous Freddy's car wash, could get away with it. Or Will Smith, who, at $20 mil per film, can nail a script or two to get the creditors off his back.
Rather than copping a mansion in the Hamptons, building companies, getting a pro sports team or buying an island—you know, things that people used to having money do to flout their riches—some wealthy athletes and rappers (and there's a difference between rich and wealthy; as Chris Rock says, "if Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money, he'd f--king kill himself") choose to give away their hard-earned money by, well, giving it away. Now I'm not super-familiar with IRS regulations, but "making it rain" probably isn't a legit deduction.
The whole "make it rain" phenomenon has a Candid Camera, reality-television quality to it. Like, gee, wouldn't it be fun to throw money in the air and see how people react? (Money thrown.) Look at them fight! (Out come the cameras.) Hey everybody, you've been punk'd! At least on American Idol and The Real World it's a carefully calibrated reality—real people put in unrealistic circumstances. "Making it rain" appeals to baser instincts: Show me the money ... and I'll sacrifice my dignity to take it.
This isn't to say that it can't be fun. In January, boxer Floyd Mayweather reportedly tossed $10,000 in $100 bills from the balcony of club OPM in Caesars Palace. There were no reports of fisticuffs or stampedes because of his twisted beneficence. But why only 10 grand, Floyd? If you really want to make a statement, toss up those millions you're getting for fighting Oscar De La Hoya on May 5. You'll really see a scuffle, especially if I'm there. I got bills.
When "making it rain" goes bad, you end up with three people shot, as happened at Minxx strip club during All-Star Weekend. Authorities claim trouble-magnet and recently suspended (for a year) Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones came in the club with a trash bag full of cash and began tossing $1 bills on the stage. When one of the strippers started to grab the money, the five-time arrestee allegedly got mad, sparking a brawl. Police say a man connected to Jones retrieved a gun from the parking lot and started shooting. Tragic.
I'm not sure what Jones thought would happen. Minxx is a strip club. The woman was a stripper. She gets paid to undress. Somehow the dots didn't connect. Misdemeanor and felony charges are possible for Jones. And in the irony of ironies, for "making it rain," he might need the umbrella of legal cover.