What follows is a highly subjective list of people and things I don’t like as much as other people do. Its opinions are based more on juvenile grudges than fair and balanced criticism. You’ve been warned.
Adele “Why don’t you like Adele”? growls my sister, the mailman, the dogsitter, my therapist. They all think I don’t like her just because they like her. Which is not completely untrue. As a music collector, I prefer doing my own digging, finding my own treasure, as opposed to hugging whatever sound floats through the window. Like my friend Andrew says, “There’s lots to like. She has a lovely voice. She’s beautiful. She’s vegetarian. But her music is so painfully humorless and dreary.” You know it’s bad when even a New York Times headline reads, “Adele Cries to Her Music, Too.”
Humans of New York While on a job years ago, I had to see Mamma Mia! on Broadway not once but three times in just a few months. During every encore, the audience of dads and granddads and wives and nanas were up on their feet, rejoicing to “Dancing Queen.” They all looked so happy, I had to wonder, “Why don’t I like this show? Am I a horrible, rotten person?” I feel a similar sense of worry when considering this hugely popular blog. It features cute pictures of nice, ordinary people. It tells heartwarming stories about love and loss and life. But it’s all so sweet, it gives me a really bad tummy ache.
Björk Björk came out with another album earlier this year. Once again, my friends all went, “Wheeee! Yippeeee! I love Björk!” And once again, there was a noticeable lack of follow-up: no posted clips of songs they love, no Spotify screenshots captioned with “my new jam” and “DYING.” Perhaps they got so swept up in another magical Björk experience they forgot about social media entirely. Or maybe they did what I did, and didn’t listen at all.
Downton Abbey The problem here’s timing. I tried to start this immediately after bingeing the first season of Homeland—a jarring and unfair transition, to say the least. Now the final season’s about to air, and I’ve got five others to catch up on, and that ain’t gonna happen when I still haven’t watched Friday Night Lights or The Wire. Besides, my sister is a major Downton fan, so, you know, it’s gotta suck.
Patti Smith There’s the Patti Smith you read about in her books, and there’s the Patti Smith you read about in other people’s books. The former Patti (as featured in Just Kids and the recently released M Train) is the world’s No. 1 superfan, a starry-eyed worshipper of music and poetry, an eternal dreamer whose passion for art and creation is contagious. The latter Patti (who stalked Please Kill Me and Love Goes to Buildings on Fire) is an annoying, opportunistic brat who hustled and elbowed her way to cult stardom. Surely the real Patti lies somewhere between the two. But that won’t stop me from thinking Horses is overrated.
Twitter Just now, I logged on in the hopes that maybe I would see something, anything to make me finally warm up to this … this …. whatever it is. First thing I saw? Perez Hilton’s face. Back to Facebook, I go!
George Takei Here’s the part where I tread lightly, because the last time I expressed a less-than-glorifying thought on the man, the general consensus was, “Blasphemy!” But honestly, I couldn’t finish To Be Takei. It bored me. Those JPEGs are really cute, though.
