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Confessions of a Showgirl: A showgirl’s graduation speech

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Maren Wade

Everyone has that special someone that inspires you to shoot for the moon, that person who pushes you to work harder and reminds you that you deserve success. For a showgirl, it’s no different.

Danielle is now a glamorous starlet in one of the hottest productions on the Strip, but that wasn’t always the case. When she first moved to Vegas, she began waiting tables in a sports bar. In showgirl years, this would be equivalent to freshman year of high school. For her sophomore year, she worked her way up to go-go dancing. Junior and senior years were filled with months of auditions. (By the way, in case you were wondering, showgirl years are a little shorter. They’re more like months. What can I say, things move fast here in Vegas.) Anyway, after (showgirl) years of really hard work, Danielle finally made her way to (showgirl) college by earning a spot in a new topless show in town.

This show was on the smaller side. So, if we were talking in terms of colleges, instead of going to a big school like Harvard or Stanford, it was more like a community college or maybe a juvenile detention center.

You see, these casinos can be so clever and versatile. One random room on the main floor can be used as a coat rack, an old reception area, a ballroom or … a theater! This tiny showroom sat roughly 50 people. The dressing room was actually a closet that happened to be next to the kitchen of the casino. It always smelled of chicken wings, which was mighty tempting before the show. But Danielle was determined not to gain that dreaded “freshman 15.” There was only one black curtain that divided the backstage area of the theater from the stage/casino floor. There was also no bathroom. The showgirls would have to walk out into the casino area to get to one, so it was important to take care of business before showtime.

As expected, security was top-notch at this establishment. One evening, Danielle went backstage (aka, through to the other side of the black curtain) to get ready for the show. It was normally pretty quiet in there, aside from the frying sound from the chicken wings. But this time, she heard something else—a gurgling noise. As she walked closer, she realized it was a snoring sound. Someone was sleeping in her backstage area! As she slowly peered over the costumes, she saw a disheveled man curled up in a ball on the floor using her glittery bra as a blanket.

If you ask me, he didn’t seem so smart. I mean everyone knows those bras don’t provide much coverage, let alone warmth.

What’s a showgirl to do in this kind of situation? Introduce herself, of course. Danielle said, “Hi?” as she flashed a slightly awkward showgirl smile. After a few unresponsive rounds, the third time was the charm. Mr. Man woke up and bolted through the curtain and onto the stage. I would imagine that wasn’t quite the opening act the audience was expecting, but this is Vegas. He might have his own show by now.

As Danielle went back to getting ready, she suddenly stepped in a puddle that was oddly familiar to the kind her dog leaves on her carpet. Apparently, Mr. Man agreed the walk to the bathroom was too far, as well. After a brief scream and a few showers, Danielle vowed never to put herself in a situation like that again.

Despite a rocky showgirl college experience, she graduated summa cum laude and got accepted into a top Vegas show, where she performs to this day. There are many who have helped her along the way, but she attributes most of her success to that very influential Mr. Man.

So like I said, everyone has that special someone that inspires you to shoot for the moon, that person that pushes you to work harder and reminds you that you deserve success. For a showgirl, it’s no different.

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