— “We were way down on the bill, but we were there, on the same fucking stage as Ozzy, Judas Priest, the Scorpions, and headliners Van Halen, who were being paid an unbelievable $1.5 million to perform.”

— “My two-hundred-thousand-dollar Ferrari slammed rear-end first into a parked car.”

— “In Tommy’s bio, somebody once told me, he spends the entire first chapter talking to his dick.”

— “Heidi would become wife number three, the woman who stuck by me during my lowest times—until she left me for a fuckin’ plastic surgeon, the bitch.”

— “But they never had any GREY POUPON there again.”

— “I’ve been clocked doing twelve miles a show. Twelve miles back and forth across the stage!”

— "Three days of being up probably didn’t help either. I started thinking to myself, you know, If only I’d gone to the liquor store alone, or walked, or sent someone else for the booze. If only the car had skidded at a different angle so that I’d be the one lying on a slab in the morgue.”

— "Did you know you can’t be a monster of rock unless you’re pelted with animal body parts and bottles of piss?”