Jim Gibbons will give yet another rousing state-of-the-state address on February 8, which he’s really got to be nervous about, considering the state of the state. Well, chin up, Jim. We’re sure you can duplicate the brilliant fervor with which you proposed cutting higher education a whopping 36 percent last year. Still, here are a few pointers to make sure the speech goes as well as can be expected:

• The turtleneck works. It would make most people look like an extra in a '70s college movie, but it’s all about commanding attention, right?

• Take a cue from Dina Titus and throw a few F-bombs in the speech. Here, we’ll even get you started: “Nevada is totally fucked.”

• Make sure to knock Harry Reid in every other sentence. The conservatives will love it, and the liberals won’t be watching you anyway.