The naughty brunette stared out from Page 53 of the Weekly, her legs splayed over a logo framed in angel wings. Done drinking? Take Forgiven, the ad commanded, explaining that the “first and only” alcohol metabolizer would boost my body’s ability to burn booze (and, apparently, to rock a dark tan and six-pack abs).
Turns out Forgiven is based in Las Vegas and co-owned by local BMX rider TJ Lavin. The company sponsors a range of other local toughs, including UFC fighter Gray Maynard, MMA fighter Roy Nelson and rapper Big B. Who could have more authority in selling the idea that hangovers can be eliminated by an over-the-counter supplement?
But there’s only one way to know for sure. So in the name of science and America’s independence, my friend Christy Hayes and I resolved to get crunk July 4 (with safety measures in place) and test Forgiven’s ability to combat the headaches, nausea, lethargy and self-loathing that come with behaving like Lindsay Lohan. Impressively, we crushed two bottles of Vouvray wine and still managed not to light each other’s hair on fire with sparklers.
“I’ve never been this drunk on wine,” Hayes said. Repeatedly.
As instructed, we each took three Forgiven capsules at night’s end and hoped for the best. When I woke July 5, I didn’t feel increased alertness or energy, but I did feel pretty normal, which is not normal after that much sauce. Hayes was the same, amazed that she didn’t even need to eat tater tots. Were our hangovers eliminated? Not entirely, but we wouldn’t be surprised if Forgiven’s “proprietary blend” includes magic.