THE IPADS HAVE IT

Technology is amazing—as amazing as some people’s complete obliviousness to how it actually works. A Nevada man who lost his iPad on an airplane used an app called Find My iPad to locate it—at the Oregon City home of flight attendant Wendy Ronelle Dye, who was promptly arrested. Better still, despite Wendy’s claim that she “found” the iPad on a seat and never intended to use it, officers found her personal information stored on it. Technology 1, Wendy 0.

COMPANY YOU KEEP

River Viiperi, the 21-year-old boyfriend of socialite Paris Hilton, was cited by Las Vegas police for misdemeanor battery after allegedly hitting a man at a Strip nightclub last weekend. Apparently Viiperi became enraged after he saw Hilton making out with another woman. Perhaps it was just Paris’ way of making amends for her recent homophobic comments that most gay men “probably have AIDS.”

RESCIND CITY

Derek Stevens, owner of the D Las Vegas, made the questionable decision last week to “refund” all of the money gamblers lost on the controversial Packers/Seahawks game. On the one hand, hey, great PR. On the other … Well, remember the scene in Lost in America where the casino owner refuses to give Albert Brooks his money back because then everyone would want their money back?