As We See It

Terror taco: Our greatest fears

The Weekly staff on what makes us shiver

Deranged jesters have nothing on our greatest fears.

What are we scared of at the Weekly? Early deadlines, drivers on the I-15, Lake Mead going dry, Zzyzx Road, scorpions and that drunken tourist from LA casually weaving in our direction. And that’s just the beginning. We convinced a few staffers to spill their guts about the things that make them shudder and sweat. Here are our greatest fears; feel free to come clean about yours in the comments section below.

I’m terrified of ants. Not one or two, but a big mess of them going after something—on a plate of food, in the trash, or the very worst, in your clothes. There’s just something about the way they swarm all over things and their mindless organization that sends me fleeing, helpless, from the room every time. -Andrea Domanick

I’m a man of many phobias, but being trapped in a confined space takes the terror taco. If you ever get stuck in an elevator, you better hope I’m not there. And no, adventurous wife, I will not go spelunking with you. Narrow, collapsible, inescapable caverns? Not a chance. –Brock Radke

The Red Sox winning the World Series. And yes, I'm still living in 2003. –Spencer Patterson

I love swimming in the ocean, but the thought of scuba diving hundreds of feet under the surface with nothing but an oxygen tank and a flashlight is pretty pants-wetting. It’s partly about the claustrophobia, partly about Jaws and partly about the idea of a submarine sneaking up behind/underneath me. –Erin Ryan

I am easily spooked and cannot handle horror movies, haunted houses, any of that ilk. Halloween is not my favorite holiday, candy aside. –Don Chareunsy

A world without Chevy Chase movies. –Ken Miller

Thanks to some nameless TV movie that I vaguely remember scarring me as a youngster, I’m totally terrified of being buried alive. Unlike Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2 I have no short-range jabbing ability, and suffocating in a dark coffin or drowning in dirt sound like pretty bad ways to go. The only thing worse than being buried alive? Being buried alive in a coffin full of spiders. –Sarah Feldberg


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