Oh hell no. That’s the line for the bus that takes us from the Venetian to the Convention Center for the Consumer Electronics Show? The line that’s winding from the escalator, down the hall, around the corner and down that other hall? No way I’m waiting in that thing.
Not an auspicious start to the day. Luckily for me, I remember this old trick I picked up when I first moved to Vegas and spent every weekend at the clubs: Cutting.
I do this for you, dear reader.
Outside the Convention Center a protester of sorts urges me thusly: “Love your brain! Use a headset!” Something tells me he wouldn’t have appreciated the guy wearing the “SAY NO TO EARBUDS” T-shirt I saw in the South Hall—think he was promoting some doohickey that turns baseball caps into speakers.
Inside the South Hall, I try out a head massager by Breo that puts the head massager I just bought at Brookstone to shame. Isn’t that how it always works with technology? Next I demo the Aftershokz Open-Ear Headphones, which vibrate music into my bones—no speakers necessary.
What do I see in the main room? Same thing as last year. And the year before: The TVs are bigger and clearer; the 3D technology is better. Sharp’s 85 8K TV (which has its own security guard) is probably my favorite. But really, I’d trade my current TV for any TV at CES.
Coolest thing I find all day: A piece of software called iStudio300. If you have a camera, a computer and a green screen, iStudio300 can make it look like you’ve got your own high-budget talk show.
On the way back to the Venetian, karma kicks my ass. I wait for the Wynn bus, instead of the Venetian bus, to save time, but it takes forever and it’s freezing. Basically, I get what I have coming to me.
Now, bring on the porn convention.