Speeding ticket horror story

You think your ticket was bad…

This story freaked me out. Not only because it happened to my friend Jeff (a fellow magician), but because I could see it happening to me.

Jeff told me the whole story at magic club this week. And now, I’ll share it with you:

On Sunday night, Jeff gets pulled over for an expired registration. During the stop, the police officer sees that Jeff has a traffic warrant out for his name—a speeding ticket, originally $215.

“So the cop says, ‘Come walk with me to my car,’ and when I get there, he puts the cuffs on me and tells me to get in. So I do, and then he says he’s going to take me back the station and that the whole thing will just take three or four hours.”

Not quite.

The police officer drives Jeff to the station, books him, processes him, and searches him—yes, all of him. Bail is set at $1,600, so Jeff enquires about getting a bail bond and is told, “If you do that, it will end up costing you $16,000.”

So he passes.

Then they put Jeff in a holding cell for 24 hours.

Then Jeff has a trial, where the judge reduces his fine to $200. The following morning, at 3:00 AM, Jeff is released. He doesn’t have enough money for a cab, and his cell phone is dead, so he walks 7 miles to our friend Paul’s house.

Jeff had been locked up for 50 hours.

The worst part of the incident was everything that went on with Jeff’s friends and family. When Jeff didn’t show up for work on Monday, his brother got the phone call. “Where’s Jeff?” the employer wanted to know.

So Jeff’s brother told his parents, who told everybody else. Then the parents booked flights to Vegas, to aid the search efforts. And Jeff’s brother called the police, who put out an APB. The police even got a locksmith to help enter Jeff’s home and check for him.

Of course, they didn’t find him there because they had him already, back at the station.

Jeff is fine now. But still, if you see him at magic club, buy the guy a shot.


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