Haven’t updated the ol’ blog in a long while—a long while in blog years, that is—so I wanted to reward your patience with a triple entry.
PART ONE: A COUPLE WEEKS AGO
I went to the doctor for a checkup, and when the nurse was taking my blood pressure, I said, “Aren’t you supposed to check both arms now?”
“I heard on the news that you’re supposed to check both arms, to see whether there’s a difference.”
“Where’d you hear that?” the nurse asked.
“On CNN,” I said.
“Ah, that would explain it; we’re more of a Fox News office.”
PART TWO: TWO WEEKS AGO
For the second year in a row, I helped judge Tao nightclub’s '80s look-alike competition.
The winner? Alan. Alan had a really good night. A $10,000 good night.
This guy, Alan, was hanging out on Fremont Street, impersonating Spock for tips. His friend told him that TAO was having an '80s Celebrity Look-alike contest. So he went. He was already in costume, ya know?
Next thing Alan knows, he’s on stage wining $10,000. Easy as that.
Second place went to De Niro impersonator Robert Nash. Nash had an audition in LA, so he sped back to Vegas in time to make the competition. Good thing he did; $5,000 to him.
PART THREE: THIS WEEK
In Las Vegas Weekly we do this story called “Things We’re Thinking About.” And one week, my thought was something like, “Dear Person Who Drives The H3 With The License Plate BIZARO, You’ve got to get in touch with me so I can put you in touch with my friend Bizzaro the magician.”
Well, I’m happy to report that the H3 driver got in touch with me and is now in touch with my friend Bizzaro. So, basically, all is right in the world.