Finding the least helpful signs in Las Vegas

Finding the way into a casino mega-resort shouldn’t be difficult.
Photo: Rick Lax

Las Vegas is filled with wrong signs. I’m not talking about signs with incorrect grammar; I’m talking about signs that point tourists in the wrong direction.

If you’re at Trump, on the pool/gym level, and if you want to use the restroom, there’s a sign that points you in the precisely wrong direction. The sign points right; the bathrooms are to the left.

If you’re walking down the steps of the Mirage parking garage, when you hit ground level—assuming you want to enter the hotel—you have to make a U-turn. But you wouldn’t know that from the sign kindly directs you into the employee parking area.

If you’re trying to get to a store on the outside of the Fashion Show mall, like Quicksilver, and you’re using the mall directory to find it, well, good luck. That sign sends you to a random escalator inside the mall, by Macy’s women’s swimsuit area.

Best I can tell, the digital counters on the Wynn parking garage that ostensibly tell you how many free spaces are on particular floors bear no relation whatsoever to the actual number of free spaces on those floors.

And now … I’m pleased to announce the winner of the Most Wrong Sign in Las Vegas award: MGM’s “HOTEL ENTRANCE” sign. This one’s not even in the ballpark. The sign is east of the casino, and it points east, towards Koval. Also, it points to the pavement—as if the sign wants you to crawl into a Koval manhole and navigate your way through Vegas’s underground sewers, Matt O’Brien-style, until you wind up at the check-in desk.

Want to know where the MGM’s hotel entrance really is? Here’s an insider tip: Look for the 70-foot-tall bronze lion statue. It’s right there.


Previous Discussion:

  • If you want to see a movie about what the magic industry’s truly like, Desperate Acts of Magic is the film for you.

  • I went as Gaston, and in the process, I learned that quite a few people have serious Beauty and the Beast fetishes.

  • What does Vegas get right and wrong about its Italian counterparts?

  • Get More Cleverboy Stories
Top of Story