Former Ice nightclub undergoing remodel

Remember when you didn’t know what the word “recession” meant? If you were thirsty, water didn’t cost $10. You never had to worry about talking to the opposite sex, because they had cooties (okay, some of them still do). A new nightclub in the works aims to return you to the days of a happy-go-lucky youth, except this time there’s banging dance music and booze. The Weekly got an exclusive first peek at the plans for Blithe, the new club slated for construction on the corner formerly occupied by Ice.

The property at 200 E. Harmon Avenue has stood empty for years, but a few hopeful investors are looking the crappy economy in the eye and giving it the middle finger. According to the new owner of the property (who preferred to remain anonymous because he still works for a competing nightlife group), funding for Blithe “has already been obtained and will not run out before the project is finished, nor will we have to shut our doors after only a few months of operation.”

As far as the concept of Blithe, a carefree environment is the goal of the nightclub, hence the name. The multiple rooms of the former Ice will be transformed into different areas playing off of the childhood innocence theme. “Think a classy Chuck E. Cheese for adults,” says the owner. According to blueprints, additional features include—get this—a ball pit, bouncy house and actual plastic tubes and slides built strong enough for adults to feel just like a hamster staring out of a plastic bubble. Additionally, to relieve stress on the weary and slightly broke Vegas club-goer, a special local’s only room will provide free seating and discounted drinks. If that wasn’t enough the ensure your good time, whiney women who think they always need to wear painful stilettos can swap their heels for inexpensive flip-flops at the door for a small fee and purse lockers will also be available. Feel free to stick your prom photo on your locker door.

“Our goal is to make clubbing fun again and alleviate the stress of pretentious airs and the feeling you aren’t good enough to go to a club if you don’t wear the right designer or can’t afford bottle service,” says Blithe’s owner.

But with all the child-like elements set for installation, won’t Blithe border on tacky? Fortunately, Simeone Deary Design Group out of Chicago has taken that into account and balanced the playful elements with a rich color palate and Victorian-esque fabrics. No neon orange and yellow at Blithe. The owner is hoping for the club to be finalized by Labor Day Weekend, but for now is blithely indifferent to the space’s slow progress – something about the builders taking too many snack breaks and overextending nap time – because who in his right mind would try to model a Vegas nightclub after Chuck E. Cheese. Happy April Fool’s Day, everyone. Guess that adult sized ball pit will have to live on in your dreams. (Though if someone does open a club like this, I totally want a cut of the money!)