Vegas nightclubs soon to be 18 and up

In the wake of businesses closing left and right thanks to the not-so-good ol’ economy, Vegas’ nightlife industry has decided to take an unorthodox approach... opening club doors to the under 21 crowd.

Finalizing an agreement late Tuesday afternoon, the Liquor and Gaming Licensing Board has approved redesigned floor plans from five major clubs that will soon be announced. While reps from the five clubs have declined requests by the Weekly to cite the specific venues names at this time in the event the decision is overturned, they have confirmed that they hope to complete the appropriate renovations in time for Memorial Day weekend to pack in the crowds of under 21-year-olds as well as their older party-goers. New physical barriers are slated for instillation over the next month in the form of stanchions, half-walls, or re-purposed VIP areas with designated security. The barriers may be made of ice bricks, beaded curtains or unemployed service industry workers who would make a human wall, and these minor redesigns will allow for an increased clientele base and filler crowd, specifically the 18 to 20-year old patrons who will be allowed to patronize the club but not partake in any of the alcohol served within the designated venues.

Water bottle service, priced according to region, purification and the attractiveness of the serving staff at each bar will be offered to make the young ‘uns feel a bit more like real high rollers. No, you cannot bring your Nalgene for free refills. This is Vegas, baby.

To separate the minors from the professional imbibers, a mandatory cover charge of at least $20 will be designated for those in the 18-20 age range to help recoup expenses not earned from alcohol purchases at the bar. All legal drinkers will be required to wear a wristband to gain access to the bar areas (as the House of Blues does during all-ages concerts), and must consume their beverages before leaving the bar area, much like at a music festival with a beer garden. Just think of the new system as an all-ages Octoberfest all year ‘round, minus the lederhosen and steins, of course.

If all that sounds far-fetched, well, it actually is. Happy April Fool’s Day. Don’t worry, you can still drink in every square foot of nearly every club on the Strip without worrying that the person you’re hitting on might still be in high school, or your little sister. (It’s dark, we know.) Well, at least we hope so.