Random crap I’d like to buy today: Princess Bride t-shirts

Anybody want a peanut?”

If I had to list my top 10 favorite movies of all time, The Princess Bride is planted somewhere firmly in the middle. Rob Reiner’s 1987 film about a fake pirate, a vengeful swordsman and rodents of unusual size is sweet and a bit cheesy with just enough kick, much like a maple turkey sandwich with melted Swiss and spicy mustard. (Is it dinner time yet?)

Finally, someone has done humanity a favor and immortalized this great film on one of the most enduring and far-reaching symbols of American culture: the t-shirt.

80stees.com, your home for ’80s cartoon shirts, ‘80s TV show shirts, ‘80s music shirts and ‘80s video game shirts, sells not one but 12 different Princess Bride-inspired examples of spun cotton brilliance. (Interestingly, the only one that features the titular princess is a lame reprint of the movie poster and certainly the worst of the bunch.)

A white shirt features a black image of Westley in pirate garb with the words “You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.” A cream shirt sports Inigo Montoya and the line, “I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” And my personal favorite has a full body shot of Andre the Giant as Fezzik next to his classic line, “I don’t even exercise.”

Sure, they’re kind of ugly, and I have a drawer at home already overflowing with similarly cute-but-not-that-cute t-shirt purchases, but just looking at the shirts brings to mind the fabulous flick and jump starts my involuntary credit card reach. I can almost feel the spit exploding from Vizzini’s mouth as he utters, “Inconceivable!” Sigh.

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