Tight shorts, high socks, tank tops and spandex that shocks.

Thighs of steel on two-inch wheels with striped shorts to seal the deal.

The Down & Derby roller skating dance party has become a downtown staple at the Beauty Bar, but has apparently outgrown its digs in the venue’s backyard. Or maybe there were too many collisions with the trailer. We can only speculate.

Now, our favorite retro roller skating party is coasting into a new location (don’t worry, it’s not Crystal Palace, so leave your mace at home): Rain Nightclub at the Palms will play host to the event next month.

No, seriously!

On December 17, Vince Masi and Richard Alexander’s Down & Derby roller rink revival will take over the massive nightclub, letting guests slide, glide, boogie down and even make out on wheels. It’s perfect. There’s already a wooden floor in the center of Rain, and the VIP booths can serve as a barrier for rogue skaters who have trouble stopping on a dime.

“The Down & Derby roller skating dance party is one of the hottest new concepts in all the major metropolitan cities,” says N9NE Group vice president Michael Fuller. “When we saw how cool it was downtown, we decided we had to bring it to the Palms to truly make it over-the-top.”

The responsibility for making D&D as retro-fab as possible rests, in part, on your shoulders. You’ll need to bust out the short-shorts (guys, you too) and retro wear for the ’70s roller disco night. The more Afro wigs, the better.

DJs OB-One and $HR3D will be providing the tunes for the electro-styled discotheque, plus, word on the rink is there’ll be a surprise host, too. Don’t have a pair of quads to bring to the party? (Note: Rollerblades are such a vibe-killer.) Skates of all sizes will be available for rental at Rain for $5. Admission is $5 in advance, $10 at the door.

Fuller, who’s been a familiar face at the Beauty Bar’s Down & Derby, is already preparing for the party’s Palms launch. “I am personally going out and making some custom skates that light up the faster you go like back in the day,” he says. “I also plan on practicing my backwards slow skating.”

UPDATE 12/14/09 For Down & Derby on December 17, the DJs will now be Nugget and $HR3D. Additional Down & Derby dates at Rain have been added on January 21, February 25, March 18, April 22 and May 27.