I dreamed I was forced to fight a friend ... for four rounds! It wasn’t a real-life friend, just some dream friend. — Dave 33, Cleveland, OH

Lauri: Since this isn’t an actual friend, he most likely represents the part of you that is a friend to yourself, the part of you that likes yourself and does well by yourself. But for some reason you are fighting that part of you. What’s going on? Are you being too hard on yourself?

Dave replies: The majority of everything running through my brain over the past few months has been relationship-oriented. I was involved with someone for about a year, and the relationship ended on a very sour note—my fault. I can’t stop analyzing and replaying events, wondering how I could have acted more mature or properly in the relationship, and it really, really hurts. So, I guess in that respect, I am beating myself up over the relationship’s end. Regrets suck!

Lauri: Yes they do ... but only if we allow them to haunt us, which is what you are doing. Your dream is showing you that rather than being a friend to yourself and picking yourself up and dusting yourself off, you are treating yourself like a punching bag. And each time you replay this in your head it’s like yet another round in the ring. I think your dream is giving you a powerful metaphor. Now that you can see what you are doing to yourself, you will hopefully throw in the towel on this particular issue so you can move on to more productive thoughts.