If it weren’t for political tchotchkes and the levity they bring to election season, we’d all be losing our otherwise balanced minds. Candidate swag is the twinkle that keeps us going, so hold this election forever in your heart with a few special mementos …
Freedom of Choice Chia
Ever wanted to pet a president? The Obama Chia Pet returns, joined this year by a leafy-haired Romney. $17.99, buypresidentialchia.com.
The “I meow for Michelle” cat collar not aggressive enough? Weather the political sh*t storm with these doggy bags. $14.99, smearcampaign.us.
Bypass the Obama or Romney thongs for something that will definitely get you laid: party-affiliated animal hats wearing their own patriotic headgear. $14-$17, toynk.com.
Nothing says dignity like a wind-up plastic toy that poops candy. $8.99, politicalpoopers.com.
Forget bobbleheads, there’s nothing like a well-greased condom to show that you’re a team player. $3.95, sayitwithacondom.com/obama-condoms.
Apparently, there is such a thing as going too far— even in this campaign cycle. $4.75, amazon.com.