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Three reasons we’re excited about ‘Top Gun’ 3D

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Top Gun IMAX 3D
Opens Friday at Aliante, Palms, Red Rock, Sunset Station

Intro to jet porn I’m stoked to experience the Top Gun logo slamming into my eyeballs while opening credits roll to Steve Stevens’ soaring instrumental “Top Gun Anthem,” but that visual-musical combo can’t compare to the opening scene of jets doing the badass sh*t that jets do while Kenny Loggins gets so dangerous you never quite get over it.

Oh sweet lord, the karaoke Whether you’re a straight woman or a gay man (or a straight man who digs cockpits), you know you’ve always fantasized about being serenaded by a bar full of He-Man fighter pilots. This way, their Budweisers will swing at you instead of Kelly McGillis, who, as it turns out, likes her fighter pilots with a little less Y chromosome.

Volleyball and … Gratuitous slow-mo armpits, Crisco sweat, bear hugs and jeans so tight it’s a miracle Tom Cruise isn’t sterile. The man-love is already in your face, so it might as well be literal.

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