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Wisdom from the Vegas stripperverse

Strippers know that the hottest girl in the room doesn’t always make the most money. You need to hustle, too.
Photo: Mona Shield Payne

• Just because someone looks like he has money doesn’t mean he’ll spend it. And just because a guy is rocking flip-flops doesn’t mean he’s cheap.

• Like migratory birds, some performers chase the busy seasons and big events at clubs across the country. Others build a rep at just one venue.

• How do strippers tone that impossible upper-thigh region right under the butt? Deadlifts.

• Summer is a slower season for strippers in Las Vegas. January and March are two of the best months, thanks to convention prime time.

• If a girl is with a client, stripper etiquette says another dancer should never approach. It’s also a no-no to pull guys away from the stage.

• What do dancers like to snack on at work, according to a bathroom attendant at Spearmint Rhino? Chocolate and Slim Jims.

• Fridays are a good bet for seeing some of the top performers, because they might make enough that night to skip the rest of the weekend.

• “Gummy-bear boobs” are a thing—implants made with silicone gel that’s pleasingly squishy.

• Leg warmers are, too. (Thanks, Flashdance.)

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