Features

Exploring the dating lives of local porn performers

Image

With laxer laws than LA, Las Vegas has become a hotbed for adult film. Companies that once exclusively shot in California now have Vegas studios—which means a lot of porn stars have relocated here, too. That got us thinking: Dating in Las Vegas is tricky enough, but what’s it like if you’re in adult entertainment?

Like most civilians—the word sex workers use to describe those not in the industry—the dating experiences of porn stars Arielle Aquinas, Rocky Emerson and D. Arclyte have been varied and rich, with the usual ups and downs. The ideal relationship looks different to everyone, and the desire for kindness and happiness in a dating partner is universal, no matter what you do for a living.

“I really like enjoying life and traveling, and I want someone who feels the same way,” the 23-year-old Emerson says while on vacation in LA. Her boyfriend is also an entertainer, though not in the adult industry. “I want to be in a very committed relationship just like any other girl. … I just want to settle down and have a person that’s mine.”

Emerson broke up with her previous -boyfriend a year ago to pursue her career—he was supportive of her decision, and the two are still friends, she says. “He was like, ‘I love you and you love your job, and if you quit for me there’s going to come a day when you’re going to wonder what-if, and you’re going to resent me.’”

Emerson says she isn’t into using dating apps, dating fans or dating coworkers in the industry. “I don’t want someone to try to date Rocky,” she says, referencing her porn persona. “I felt like I was always being used as a tool, like, look at this hot porn girl I hang out with. They treated me like Rocky instead of my actual self.”

Arclyte, 43, had a successful career as a corporate executive before turning in his suit and tie four years ago. He moved to Vegas for more work opportunities and recently ended a 12-year relationship. “I told myself that it was the last cis-gendered female that I’d ever be in a relationship with,” says Arclyte, who identifies as bisexual and was nominated for best non TS-performer at last year’s Transgender Erotica Awards. “I call myself slut sexual—if it’s hot and the energy’s there, I’m totally cool.”

Right now, Arclyte says he’s mostly interested in dating men—and while he dates within and outside the industry, his biggest pet peeve, like Emerson’s, is people who just want to talk about work. “If I installed blinds and you did the same thing, would you come home and be like, let’s install blinds right now? No. The last thing I would want to do is install blinds.”

What is he looking for? “Once there’s that intellectual connection, that’s worth pursuing. I’m going to chase that feeling, and if it’s not there, it’s not there.”

Aquinas, 30, has been married for 12 years and has been steadily seeing her boyfriend for one year (she and her husband are both polyamorous). She’s been in the adult industry for a decade and calls herself the Saint of Sexuality, preaching sex positivity, consent culture and ethical porn.

For the most part, Aquinas says, her dating experience has been stress-free. The biggest misconception about porn stars, she says, involves STDs. “Our testing protocols are super strict. Every 14 days you have to go to a special lab. Those results go into a database that any performer or producer can look up,” she explains. “There hasn’t been an onset transmission of HIV in like 10 years; that’s how good our testing system is.”

Aquinas typically only dates one other person at a time, “because I’m so hyper-focused on my partner." And while she’s commonly asked how she and her husband combat jealousy, her response is simple. “I don’t care what he’s doing. I know he’s going to come home,” she says. “We have compersion—it’s the opposite of jealousy. It means that your partner being made happy by somebody else makes you really happy.”

Share
Photo of Leslie Ventura

Leslie Ventura

Get more Leslie Ventura
Top of Story