Two weeks in, I suddenly felt like my life was over. Maybe not over, but definitely ruined. I hadn’t lost my job. No one close to me was sick. And although my future was and remains uncertain, there is no immediate, visible jeopardy.

It took me some time to assess my feelings. I had to acknowledge that when the Strip shut down, a part of my identity was gone, and I can only hope it’s temporary. I loved my job as it existed pre-pandemic, but now Vegas entertainment is on hold. My day-to-day is very different, and I don’t have that excitement to use as motivation and inspiration. On top of that abrupt change, I can’t stop beating myself up about it, because I’m one of the lucky ones who still has a job. Stop complaining. Suck it up. Get busy.

It’s been more than six weeks, and I’m still wrapping my head and heart around the fact that what I’m feeling is grief. Now I’m trying to figure out how to mourn what I’ve lost—a lifestyle, not a life—while moving ahead and putting it all in perspective.

“That’s a lot of different things to juggle, some seemingly contradictory things,” says John Nixon, UNLV assistant professor in residence and assistant director of clinical counseling services and outreach. “The reality is there is a range in terms of losses and perceived losses and the severity of them, including people who have permanently lost their jobs versus being furloughed or people whose jobs continue in a different way. There are a lot of people struggling with feelings of grief and loss here.”

Nixon’s department is one of several that have stepped up their ability to help locals without meeting in person, partnering with TAO Connect (Therapy Assisted Online) to create a digital platform aimed at making behavorial health therapy more accessible. Talking things out is an important part of self-care, whether you seek formal assistance or are just connecting with someone you trust.

Defining one’s feelings is also important but not mandatory, Nixon says. “People are remarkably unique. Standard thinking is to identify what feelings are at work and work on them in overt ways, but I realize more and more that one size doesn’t fit all. Even if two people are having the same problem or labeling it that way, how they experience those symptoms is always unique. And it’s not like you can’t make progress unless you come to terms.”

But it is crucial to recognize that your feelings are important, he says, “even if it seems like a little thing. You may be thinking about larger issues and how other people might be suffering, but you have a right to your feelings.”

Now that I know I’m mourning the loss of something I loved that was a bigger part of me than I realized, I have to decide what to work on when I’m not sucking it up and getting busy. Should I quietly let that grief wash over me and run its course? Do I deserve to spend my time that way? Or should I focus on the anticipatory angst of what lies ahead? These are tough questions, hard thoughts that get harder when I realize how others are having similar struggles.

One thing I know for sure is I’ll allow myself to feel all of these things, because I can. I’m fortunate for that.