Nightlife

Tales we tell: Nightclub pickup lies … and the bitter truth

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Striped shirts? check. Vodka drinks? Check. Lady friends for the night? Workin’ on it…
Photo: Nikki Villoria

Five lies tourist guys tell women in Vegas nightclubs:

5) LIE: “I’m in Vegas all the time.” TRUTH: I’m almost never in Vegas, so if we hook up tonight, you’ll almost certainly never see me again.

4) LIE: “You’ve got this awesome energy.” TRUTH: I don’t believe in “energies.” I do believe you’ll sleep with me if I give you the right compliment.

3) LIE: “My friends just left to play blackjack.” TRUTH: I came here alone to pick up women.

2) LIE: “I think you’re hotter than our bartender.” TRUTH: I think you’re more available than our bartender.

1) LIE: “I’ve got a hookup at the club at Caesars.” TRUTH: I’ve got a room at Caesars. –Rick Lax

Five lies local women tell tourists in Vegas nightclubs:

5) LIE: “I’m from (insert name of small Midwestern town here) and partying with my girls. Vegas, baby!” TRUTH: I actually live in Vegas, but don’t want you to think you can crash at my place whenever you come to town.

4) LIE: “My boyfriend is in the bathroom.” TRUTH: He really is in the bathroom. Go away.

3) LIE: “You’re right. We should hang out back at my place. Follow me there.” TRUTH: I’m going to lose you on the freeway. And then pretend my phone died.

2) LIE: “I’d like to get to know you better. Let’s go grab breakfast after the club.” TRUTH: You’re my free meal ticket until I’m sober enough to go home. Alone.

1) LIE: “I only like girls.” TRUTH: Whether I do or don’t, I’m not interested in you. Keep moving. And no, you can’t watch. –Deanna Rilling

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